Do you dread going to work?

Do you dread going to work? Do you get that Sunday night anxiety that grows throughout Sunday afternoon and prevents you from really relaxing and enjoying the remainder of your weekend?  If you said yes to these questions you are absolutely not alone.

Some people dread work because it requires too much in too short of a time—they are behind, overwhelmed, and scrambling constantly every day without time to breathe or think.

Some people dread work because there are people there they don’t trust and they feel they always have to be on guard—they simply don’t feel safe.

Others work in chaotic and reactionary workplaces where they never know what will happen next, or what they might get blamed for.

Some people are bored and feel their time and talent are being wasted. Some don’t have the skills to do their job and so feel trepidation each day about what they will be asked to do.

There are million reasons why people dread work.

This feeling is making our entire workforce sick!

You know that rush you get when you almost get in a car accident?  You feel an intense rush throughout your body—your heart beats faster, your breath quickens, and you often get a tingly feeling in your limbs. That is due to the release of hormones that allow you to react quickly to respond to danger in your life.

Once the danger is passed, you can feel that hormone draining out of your body as your heartbeat goes back to normal, your breathing returns to normal, and you begin to feel safe again.

As humans, this is a normal response to danger, fear and stress.

The problem is, if you feel stressed from your job—if you don’t feel safe or if you feel dread or danger, you maintain a high level of this hormone (cortisol) in your body all the time.  Your body is constantly pumping out cortisol, which can wreak havoc with your health. Long term effects of elevated cortisol are associated with:

Blood sugar imbalances and diabetes

Weight gain and obesity

Immune system suppressions—colds, increased risk of cancer, food allergies.

Gastrointestinal Problems—Irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, colitis.

Fertility problems

Insomnia, chronic fatigue, thyroid disorders, depression and anxiety.

People drink, get angry and take their stress out on their families.

 

Not a pretty picture.

Only so much exercise and good diet can relieve stress responses when the stress never goes away.

The good news is that things can get better. The team can get more functional. Interventions to improve leadership and team processes can work. Relationships can get better and issues can be resolved.

Sometimes it takes someone from outside the organization to work on creating solutions and find ways to make them work.  As a leader, your job is to make sure your people are in a positive environment so they can do the work they need to and want to.

Don’t create an environment that makes you or your team sick. Work together to create trust and a healthy environment so you can change the world!

 

 

Dealing with the Passive-Aggressive Employee

We all spend a great deal of our lives at work. When we spend that much time with other people, it is highly likely that disagreements, and even conflict will arise.  It’s only human.

In most instances when disagreements occur people talk about how they see the situation differently, how they will agree to approach the situation, and move on.

Unfortunately, however, that’s not always what happens. Some people, for a variety of reasons, have a very difficult time dealing with conflict directly. They imagine themselves the victim in the situation, they don’t speak up, and they let their hurt, frustration and anger fester.

Everyone else goes on doing their job as if nothing has occurred, unaware that this person has been wounded and is carrying their hurt around with them just under the surface, looking for ways to justify it and to villainize their ‘aggressor’ (who likely has no idea there is a problem).

Even describing the behavior is creepy, right?? Working with them is even worse!

As the leader, you begin to notice that this person seems angry, reserved, doesn’t speak up in meetings, avoids certain people on the team, doesn’t answer work questions directly, and often doesn’t do anything to help other people out. They can make excuses for not attending meetings but when they do attend they send off waves of negativity.  They can refuse to help their colleagues, or to complete their part in a project for some reason.  It begins to feel like everyone is walking on eggshells around this person.

These behaviors (or many others) are the passive ways this person is acting out their anger. But, somehow, it feels aggressive—trying to hurt someone by not cooperating.

This creates a terribly toxic work environment that puts everyone on edge.

What you have is a person who a) doesn’t know how to deal with conflict directly; b) takes conflict personally rather than seeing it as a work disagreement; and c) chooses to be a victim.

What does a leader do with all of that??

1. Address the behavior directly. Do not blame the person. Rather, describe to them the behaviors you have been noticing, and ask if something is bothering them. They will likely deny it, since what they fear most is confrontation.
2. You must stay calm. Instead of insisting that something is wrong, lay out the behaviors you would like to see and the way that you need to see cooperation and respect among the team. Make sure he or she knows that you expect the same behavior from them as the rest of the team.
3. Model open and honest communication. It is important for all of your team to know that you are open to having tough conversations and hearing challenging feedback.  You can handle the hard stuff.
4. Begin documenting specific instances when you notice their passive aggressiveness so you can continue to have ongoing conversations about what you are seeing.
5. Over a few weeks provide multiple opportunities for them to talk with you about what is wrong. If it clears up—great. If it doesn’t, then you will have specific information about what they are doing that is not working.
6. Make sure you are being fair and even handed with everyone on the team, including them.
7. Alert your supervisor. This person may have already gone around you to your supervisor, or this is a tactic she may try in an effort to gain an ally. It is important your supervisor is on board with you working through this situation. Keep them apprised of progress.
8. If all else fails, for the good of the team, you need to let this person go. They will likely be angry and blame you for everything that went wrong, but your team must be able to move on with a new, fresh person who is on board with your vision and goals.

Passive aggressive individuals are some of the most difficult people to deal with—you want to respect them, but you know something is wrong, and, they are careful not to actively do anything wrong while making everyone miserable.

If you, as the leader, are struggling to handle the situation it is time to bring in an expert. Someone from outside your team can often have a clearer picture of what’s happening and how to proceed.

Good luck!

Yes-the vision is that important.

As a leader, you need to have an idea of what you are trying to accomplish (a vision), and then you need to convey that goal (your vision) to your team or workforce in a way that gets them excited and willing to help you accomplish it. Without such a goal (or vision), it is easy for you and your team to simply go through the steps of coming to work and going home, without really being engaged in what happens each day.

So—do you have a goal (or vision) for your work?  Is it something you care deeply about? Is it something that can make a difference in people’s lives and make the world a better place?  Is it something that your team believes in and has a strong stake in helping you accomplish? Does it make their lives better too?

 

Conveying your vision can be very different depending upon your team and the organization.

If you are a small company and you have a small team to help you, are they bought into the dream?  When you hired each person did they express passion for helping you accomplish your goals?  In a small group it is easier for each individual to actually see how they contribute to the goal.  And, it is important for you to provide a clear reward for helping you achieve your dream.

In a larger organization, it is more difficult to make sure that each person is clear about the goal/vision of the organization, and what their role is in accomplishing that goal/vision.  How do you, as the overall leader keep the vision clear and specific enough for everyone to understand and sustain excitement about? How do you make each person’s role meaningful?  How do you recognize each person’s contribution and show your appreciation?

If you are the leader of a team in the middle of a large organization, it is even more difficult to develop and articulate how your team fits into the overall scheme of things and is critical for the success of the overall organization.  Part of your job is to hold the larger organizational vision and keep it alive for your team.  It is your job to appreciate and reward those on your team for their essential contributions.

When people do not know how their role fits into the overall goals of the organization, or if the organization does not have a clearly conveyed vision, work just becomes a job.  People disengage and their job begins to feel like busy work.  Attitudes lag, as does customer service.  There is no sense of urgency or commitment to the organization or their job.

Leaders:

• When you hire, make sure that the candidate not only has the skills you need, but that they have a passion for the vision.
• You cannot over-communicate the vision—especially in larger organizations. Make sure EACH INDIVIDUAL knows how they fit into the vision.
• Make sure each person in the organization has a stake in the success of the organization. Set rewards, recognitions, bonuses or anything else that excites buy-in.
• Appreciate each person repeatedly for their role in the success of the whole group. When people know they are seen, understood and appreciated, they will go to the moon and back for you.

The vision is that important.

Leaders Show They Care

According to a recent survey conducted by Paychex, one of the top reasons people quit their jobs is that they felt their employer didn’t care about employees (52.77% of those surveyed).

What does that really mean?  And, what can employers do to let their employees know they do really care about them?

People feel cared about when we are treated with respect. People feel cared about when our efforts are appreciated.  We feel cared about when we are listened to and acknowledged for our contributions. When we are not taken for granted. When we are not yelled at or abused.  When we are paid well for our contribution (the #1 reason for people quitting is low pay!)

As leaders, our role is not to be buddy-buddy with our team, but to care about each person on the team and do everything you can to make his or her work experience a positive one while still being fair and consistent.  A challenge…right? But you can do it.

When appreciation is expressed through lame employee recognition events rather than a sincere thank you for a job well done, people feel patronized.  Employee recognition events are fine, but it makes some people feel great but other people feel crappy while they wonder why they aren’t being recognized.  As a leader, what are you doing to find the right tone for showing true appreciation?

Does the culture of the company lead employees to feel like children—always being told what they can’t do or shouldn’t do? Or is the culture one that communicates trust in the professionalism of your people?  Again here, as the leader, it is your task to find the right balance of rules vs. accountability given the employee mix that you have.

Do you listen to the ideas and thoughts your people offer? There is nothing more frustrating for an employee than to have a boss who feels like he/she has all the answers rather than leading a discussion.  After all—you hired people with expertise. Why not listen to them?

What about that trouble-making team member? You know—the one who bullies others, the drama queen, or the one who isn’t pulling his weight? Do you address concerns with that person in a caring but direct manner?  Letting that person slide and not taking care of issues that arise lead your people to feel like you aren’t taking good care of them and are letting things fester. That you don’t care enough to make sure the work environment feels safe and productive.

And then there is the dreaded annual review process.  How awful!  As the leader, you should be caring enough about your people to provide constant on-going collaborative feedback rather than waiting until the end of the year and surprising them with negative statements that what they have been doing ALL YEAR has not met your expectations.  If you are in an organization that requires annual reviews, by all means, provide them. But make sure nothing in the review is a surprise. Make it yet another opportunity for you and the team member to work together to set goals for the coming year.

And, do NOT create or implement a review process that requires your people to compete against each other. Nothing creates a more conflictual or competitive work environment than knowing that you are competing against your colleague for a raise.

There are so many opportunities every day on a personal level, and on a structural organizational level, for you to either show your folks you care about them or show that you don’t.   Most importantly, you really do need to try and actually care about them and appreciate their efforts—don’t take your people for granted!  Treat them how you would want to be treated. Then, always be aware of your day-to-day decisions and conversations and their potential impact on your team.

Is your staff overworked?

How does a leader know when enough is enough?  That your people have too much on their plates, are burned out and just piling more and more on them is causing you to lose ground rather than gain it? After all, research shows that productivity declines precipitously after 50 hours of work per week.

I know some companies that regard a 50 hour work week as just a start!

On the other hand, I have worked with teams where several team members complained loudly and often about being overworked and burned out, but they found time to join committees and participate in activities not related to their assigned tasks.

How do you know the difference?

If you are aware and paying attention, you already know who gets in early and who stays late. If you are meeting with each team member regularly, you should be able to discuss a list of tasks or deliverables they are assigned, along with timelines.

A most surprising and illuminating exercise is to conduct a time study for your entire team. While that won’t tell you how quickly people are working, it should tell you where your folks are spending their time.  Once you have the results of a few weeks in a row, spend some time reviewing each person’s results.

• What surprised you about his/her results?
• Does the way time is spent match their priorities?
• What can be done differently?
• What can be done by someone else?
• What do they need to stop doing?
• Are there projects that can be given later deadlines?
• Does a temp need to be hired to tackle backlog work?

Work through these questions and develop a new game plan for each person. Spend time when you meet regularly checking in to see how it is going and make adjustments as needed.

If things don’t get better, or if you feel resistance to making changes, or if the person continues to complain about overwork you may be dealing with a person who doesn’t like the work in the first place. Spending their time doing something they don’t really enjoy would make anyone feel stressed and burned out. It is time to explore how the job itself is working for them.

• What do they like about their job?
• What don’t they like?
• Are there tasks they would rather be doing? Is that possible?
• When do they feel the most stress, and the least?
• How do they get along with other team members?

It is important to determine whether the job, in fact, is not a good fit for them.  If not, can they transfer to another department? Do they need to find a new position—one that makes them feel alive and excited? There is no shame in discovering that someone doesn’t really like what they were hired to do. When this occurs it can be time to assist them in making a graceful exit.

Finally, is your team the dumping ground for constant, seemingly urgent projects assigned from above?  When a team has no control over their assigned projects, and feel like they just get layered on top of one another, then it is time for you as the leader to step in and protect your team.

When your supervisor gives you yet another assignment, you need to find a way to ask about how she would like you to prioritize this project given all the other tasks your team is already working on. Negotiate a longer completion time. Ask for the budget to hire some temp help.

This is yet another time to be transparent with your team and let them know you are working to find a positive solution to another urgent project.

People feel stressed when they are overworked. They also feel stress when they have no control, or when they are bored.  As the leader, it is your job to work with each individual to find their ‘happy place’ if you can. If people refuse to be happy, that’s another issue!

Leadership: Asking for Feedback

As the leader, how are you supposed to know if what you are doing and how you are running the ship is working well and meeting the needs of the rest of the team members?  You ask them.

Feel free to ask for feedback of the group, and from each individual.  You can’t play favorites and only ask a few—include everyone in this practice. It’s interesting how sometimes it’s the Intern or the newest team member who has the most astute observations about how things are working!

When you are assembled in a team meeting, it is good from time to time to ask for feedback about:

• how they think the meetings are going
• how to improve the meeting agendas to get more accomplished
• how to better prioritize activities and work projects
• what could make the office space more comfortable
• basically, anything that involves them as a group.

When meeting one on one (which you should be doing regularly!), ask for feedback about them as individuals:

• Do they have any feedback for you and how you are leading the team?
• What could you do to better support them in their responsibilities so they can be more successful?
• Do they have any observations about what could improve within the team?
• What do they think could improve the overall team’s success?
• Do they have any observations in general about how you or the team are doing?

When you ask these questions of your team members on a regular basis they will begin to think about how to answer them, and know that they will have an opportunity to provide direct feedback to you about how their job is working for them, and about how you are leading them.

This is a great way to keep tabs on how each team member is feeling about their job and how much stress they are feeling and what that stress is about.  Because you can’t fix something g if you don’t know about it.

Asking for feedback requires trust.

You need to have enough trust in your team members to believe they will not skewer you if you ask for feedback.  If you ask in a respectful way and expect respectful honesty in return you are likely to get it.

On the other hand, they have to trust that if they are respectfully honest, that you a) won’t come unhinged or freak out; and b) that you won’t become angry and find a way to punish them later.

One way to do that is to explain the following:

1. You want to have their honest opinion;
2. You will keep their comments confidential (and you MUST);
3. You won’t be upset with them;
4. You will try to begin to address their concerns, but don’t promise any particular outcomes.

And finally, it is up to you to be prepared to hear some possible not-so-good things about yourself and how the team is doing, and to not lose your cool if you don’t agree. Be respectfully clear, however, if they cross a line into personal insults or criticisms about you or other team members.

Simply thank them for their observations and promise that you will think about them, consider them, and continue to work to make the work environment work for everyone.

And do just that. Then repeat.  Regular feedback is one of the most important things you can do as a leader to ensure that you are creating a positive work environment for everyone.

Leaders Take Action

Leaders take action.

We all know the sayings: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”, and “You are measured by what you do, not what you say you will do”, and many other that illustrate that accomplishing something is what leadership is all about.

It’s a lot like exercise–it is easy to sit at our desks or meet with our team and talk about getting things done or think about getting things done. It is much more difficult to actually get it done.

 

 

There is nothing more discouraging to a team member than to have the leader say they will do something, then not follow through.  It sets a bad example for the team, who then can begin to believe they don’t need to follow through on their responsibilities either.

Even worse and more discouraging, is when the leader seldom follows through, yet expects the team members to jump on things and get them done quickly.

Leaders are successful when they and their teams accomplish their goals.  That occurs when everyone is accountable for their job and they hold each other accountable. The leader sets the tone and example.  When leaders jump in and start making phone calls, sending out emails, scheduling meetings and reporting about what they have accomplished, that is the example set for the team. Over time that becomes the culture for the entire team—people know they are expected to follow through with what they agree to do.  No wasting time on this team!!

It is so easy to say to yourself “I will put that on the list for tomorrow”.

But, successful leaders don’t waste time or put off doing something they could get done right now:

• They make the phone call right in the meeting.
• They send the email right then.
• They set up the meeting so the pressing decision can be made as soon as possible or the discussion can be had with the right people in the room.
• They write that article by the end of the day.
• They have the discipline to get their list done first thing in the morning.

They do these things for three reasons.

• First, to actually move their projects forward.
• Second, because when they get their ‘to-dos’ done they are then able to hold their team members accountable when they don’t.
• Third, they know that success comes to those who get things done.

Leaders are accountable to their team and to themselves. Set the right example and get moving!

In Leadership Communication Counts

In leadership, communication counts.  The words you use, how often you talk and how much you say counts.

As a leader, your words have a lasting positive or negative effect on those you lead.  They illustrate who you really are, how much you really care, and whether or not you truly respect those around you.

It is your job to observe yourself and your communication patterns. Ask and fully receive honest feedback from others.  Ask for help in making changes in your communication patterns.

There is no bigger responsibility for any leader than to learn how to communicate positively, appropriately, and respectfully.  It is how you bring out the best in your team, it is how you help your team improve their productivity, it is how you increase engagement.

1. Do you acknowledge people? Do you take moment to cheerfully acknowledge members of your team and sincerely connect with them on a human level? A few words of greeting and brief conversation tells people they are a priority to you.
2. Does your language calm people in times of stress, or do they escalate the situation? “Why did you let this happen??” sets a very different tone than “Let’s sit down and figure out what our options are.”  One is a blaming tone and the other conveys that you can work together to figure out how to move forward.
3. Do you extreme words like ‘terrible’ or ‘complete waste of time’? Extreme words not only close off options for how to move forward, they also are very discouraging to those who hear them.  Rather, chose words that open conversation and possibilities, such as ‘that sounds like a challenging situation’ or ‘I wonder if there is a possibly more effective uses of our time’.
4. In conversations, when a concern or situation is brought up, do you jump right in with an answer? If so, consider that you may be shutting down the creativity of your team for solving their own problems.  And, in always having the right answer, you are also likely not listening as fully as you could or should.
5. How often do you ask questions? Getting input from others shows respect for their point of view and their professional opinion. You don’t always have to be right.
6. When you ask questions are you able to be quiet and actually listen to the answers? Asking questions is only helpful when you can be patient and listen to ideas that might be different from yours.  Jumping in and not letting the other person provide a complete answer is very disrespectful.
7. In fact, interrupting is completely disrespectful period. As a leader, you will never know (because no one will tell you) how annoying it is when you constantly interrupt, but there is no quicker way to shut people down and discourage them from talking.
8. Do you spend much of your time with others talking? I have sat through hundreds of meetings when one person monopolizes the entire allotted time without ever including others in the room.  At the end, you may feel like you had a successful meeting, but I can promise, everyone walking out of the room is frustrated and wish they could have spent their time elsewhere.
9. Do you ‘joke’ in ways that are hurtful or put others down? If you ever have to think twice about whether or not to say something, don’t say it. Remember, once something is said you can never take it back.

The negative communication patterns illustrated here (and hundreds of others) can make or break you as a leader.  It impacts your stress level every day, and it completely dominates how your team feels about coming to work every day and how they feel going home.

As a leader, you don’t want your lasting effect to be a negative one simply because you aren’t careful about how you communicate.

Simplify Decision Making

Making decisions is the bane of any leader’s existence.  Large or small, making decisions is what takes up a huge amount of a leader’s energy.

Who takes the lead on a new project?  Who cleans the kitchen this week?  Do we buy a standing desk for the receptionist?  Should we buy a new piece of equipment?  Who gets to go to this year’s conference?  The list goes on and on.

Any  sensitive leader knows that each decision made impacts the team—some might think it is unfair, or the decision favors another team member, or it doesn’t get them the piece of equipment they think they need. Maybe the investment in the new equipment won’t pay off and you will lose money. Each decision is fraught with danger.

As the leader, having the responsibility to make decisions is why you get the big bucks.

Decision making requires judgment, and the ability to weigh the costs and benefits of that decision on competing priorities and various people. No small task.

Here are a few ways to make decision making a bit easier:

1. Involve the team. Have the team help define the issue and also develop possible solutions. Eliminate those that are unacceptable for any reason, then gain consensus on the final solution. This works when the decision made impacts each individual in the group, such as determining who cleans the kitchen, or whether that new software would actually be used.
2. Know exactly what you are trying to accomplish. There are millions of ways to accomplish your goal, but you have to know what the goal is.  Articulate the goal, then brainstorm with the team lots of ways to get there.  For example, if you are planning the annual team retreat and need to decide what to do and where to go, determine whether you need to focus more on team building, or strategic planning. Do you want to leave the retreat with a concrete plan for the coming year?  Then perhaps planning a volunteer project for the retreat isn’t the best use of time. Instead, opt for the remote location with lots of white boards and not many distractions.
3. Create systems. By creating routines and systems you can eliminate numerous decisions.  Set up a plan for how often to replace equipment.  Create a revolving schedule for who goes to the conference each year.  Provide a certain amount each year per employee and let each person decide whether to spend it on that standing desk or on professional development, or their new laptop.  Create a revolving schedule for planning team meetings. Do whatever you can do to automate decisions.
4. Set up criteria about how to make decisions. Decide, for example, to only purchase a new piece of equipment if you can get a return on your investment in less than three years.  Or, that you will only incur a predetermined debt ratio, or that you only purchase supplies from local vendors.  While criteria don’t make the decision for you, it makes the decision process easier.

By managing and simplifying the decisions you need to make on a daily basis you will free up mental and even physical energy to devote to other aspects of your business.  You will be happier on a daily basis, and you will likely have a happier team

Leadership is an Active Sport

I once worked in a company where one boss spent most of his time behind a closed door. Not meeting with people, just by himself in his office. Doing what??  We didn’t really know.

While he was in his office, there was all kinds of dysfunction that occurred among his team.  Alliances were formed, work wasn’t getting done and no one was being held accountable, team members were yelling at each other and competing for his limited attention. This team, in its inaction, caused warnings for the company from federal regulators.  It was pretty awful to watch.  It wasn’t a surprise to watch the reputation of that department plummet throughout the company.

Don’t be this leader!

Your job, as the leader, is to work with the team to outline the vision of what needs to be accomplished, clarify who is going to do what, by when. And then dig in with your team to facilitate that process.

• Make sure the team has the right tools. Is there a software program that will simplify the task? Is training needed in a new technology or process?  Does your space facilitate the necessary sharing of information?  Whatever it is, do what you can to make sure the foundational tools are in place.
• Talk over progress with the team. Know when steps toward the goal are accomplished. It is also critical to know if steps aren’t getting done in a timely way so issues can be resolved and so that the next steps won’t be delayed.
• Remove barriers. Is another department failing to collaborate? Work with them to get them on board.  Is communication falling by the wayside? Schedule and facilitate effective, productive meetings. Your job is to remove barriers to success.
• Resolve conflicts that arise. It is natural for members of a team to have different ideas of how to accomplish something.  If these differences turn into conflict, you must address and resolve it. You may have to make a decision about how to proceed, but don’t avoid addressing conflicts—deal with them as soon as you know they exist and before the situation escalates.
• Be your team’s cheerleader. Let others know how great things are going. Talk your team up to leadership.  Celebrate progress with your team regularly and make sure they know you appreciate their efforts. Highlight them on social media, share photos in the newsletter.
• Ask team members for feedback about the process. What is working for each of them? What is getting in the way?  What is driving them crazy?  How could this process go a little better? As the leader, it is important to know and resolve what you can so the process goes more smoothly.
• Add positive energy to the process. Creating a strong team and making the process fun is key. Order lunch in. Show funny movie clips during a meeting. Plan a happy hour. Bring chocolate. Cheer, clap, hoot and holler when things are going well.

As the leader, you set the tone. Make it a good one. Hiding your head in the sand and hoping things go well, like the leader who spent all his time behind a closed door, doesn’t ever work.